Apparel and why the clothing industry sucks

I'm not really a big stickler for clothes. Most of the time, I couldn't care less about the clothes I wear as long as they're clean and I'm not being a fucking walking advertisement.

Not happening

However, there are some articles of clothing that are definitely more badass than others. Since it's prom time, I decided to get something to look all fly and shit. Since I already have a pimptastic fedora, I scoured the interblag for a zoot suit.

Unfortunately, most zoot suit retailers have sites that can be succintly described as utter shit. Maybe I'm just intolerant, but seeing shitty jpegs of men in zoot suits just pisses me off. The image quality is shit. I'm trying to look at the suit, but all I see is the aura of pixel bullshit around it.

Anyways. Even though the zoot suit is indeed an awesome work of art, it is not impervious to fucking retards. I say this because some of the suits also look like utter shit. I particularly hate the ones with the skinny white guy who has a such a baggy suit that he could be flown as a hot balloon, and the suit has VERY prominent stripes. It just looks like shit. Period.




Trying too hard and failing

Also, this suit baffled me. It doesn't even look like it goes together. It's part lime green, part khaki, and all ugly. Who the fuck designed this? The suit color is described as "mint," which is going to be required to mask the odor of the projectile vomiting.



I also came across the same suit in different colors. I know that sounds stupid, but continue reading, jackass. It had the same model, doing the same pose. Being the super sleuth I am, I started getting suspicious and deduced it was just copy+paste and some photoshop color-altering. Also, I figured it out before I arrived at this picture:



I know these people work at fashion and shit, but if you're gonna use a computer, learn how to fucking use it in the first place, you knuckle-dragging mouthbreathers. Seriously.

Actually, after seeing the picture that's coming up next, I would settle for people who know something about composition. Watch and be amazed as a website attempts to sell you a suit with the handsome model, Shoeface Man.











What the fuck

Shopping on the Internet blows.