If you thought that, fuck you too. I just moved into my dorm a week ago, and the week has been so thoroughly scheduled, I'm surprised I haven't seen this on it:
Friday, 11:15 - Pour liquid happiness into shot glass
Friday, 11:16 - Drink the shot
Friday, 11:20 - Drink second shot of the night
Friday, 11:25 - Drink third shot, making a remark that it "isn't strong enough for you"
Friday, 11:28 - After being convinced by friends and sheer bravado, down shots 4-afuckton in quick succession
Friday, 11:29 - Expel liquid happiness in the form of violent projectile vomiting.
Friday, 11:40 - Apologize to trashcan.
No, really, this shit is insane. There's like 10 minute breaks in between bullshit, but I've avoided some of it. Like the First Year Convocation. Which, incidentally, sounds kind of mandatory, but how the fuck would I know? I wasn't there.
So, I'm going to keep this update a bit short (Yeah right) because there's other things to do. But I will nonetheless provide with a short version of funny things that have happened this week.
Monday evening picnic.
Holy fucking shit. I sat around with some of the dullest people ever. It was fucking uncanny. I tried pushing conversation a couple of times (and, to the credit of some of the people who subsequently joined us, so did they), but holy damn. After a while of awkward, uncomfortable silence, I piped in with my lighthearted, superfungoodtimes humor.
NeoAegis> So... how 'bout dem apples?
DullestIdiotEver> Uhh... there aren't any apples here...
NeoAegis> (under my breath) Holy fucking shit, I want to throttle you.
How fucking stupid does someone have to be to not notice the BLATANT sarcasm? Does he think I have no eyes or such shitty observational skills that I can't fucking tell there aren't any fucking apples in the vicinity? Dear christ.
Thursday information session.
The guys in charge of the information session look sullen and as if they have a better place to be. Not a single person out of the the 10 or so people smile. Not for a second. Just no.
Here's the kicker: the information session? It was about student involvement.
Thursday Tour.
NeoAegis is like a kid in a candy store when touring the physics lab, makes a quip about picking up chicks with the physics demonstrations. People take it seriously, I rue humanity.
Friday "comedian."
Oh. My. God.
The guy was the most offensive, tasteless, borderline racist douchebag. This is coming from a guy whose jokes are tasteless, offensive, and sometimes racist.
I... I really just can't qualify my statement properly because my mind is trying so very hard to block out all memory of those misspent hours. Suffice it to say that, even disregarding all the tasteless, offensive stuff, he sucked just from sheer principle. I know it's okay for comedians to draw a joke from way back when they started their act, but this guy used the same joke twice in a span of five minutes. Not even a permutation of it; it was essentially the same thing. Verbatim. How badly can you suck at your job?
This is it for now, tune in again when I give a shit.
August 23, 2008
Holy shit, the damn slacker is posting something!
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Post Comments (Atom)
36 comments:
I had to wait 2 months....
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!
You make me laugh and I did not realize how much I missed your posts until I finally get a new one...
I am so excited I am going to read it again. Then go tell Billy to read it.
YAY!!!!
I miss you and this weekend will be the best ever!!!
Up. Fucking. Date.
THANKS!
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Налоговики - миллионеры... БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ Украина, АР Крым, г.Симферополь.
Не для кого не секрет, что экономика Украины в настоящее время находится в кризисе. Не смотря на это, есть специалисты, которые под ширмой государственных служащих работают против государства, которое доверило им занимать высокие должности, оплачивает достойную заработную плату, но …?!
Одним из таких деятелей, является БУСАРЕВ ВЯЧЕСЛАВ ВАЛЕНТИНОВИЧ - председатель налоговой службы АР Крым. Личность, которую можно поставить в пример многим политикам, ведь Вячеслав Бусарев получил старт в карьере государственного служащего когда у власти была Партия Регионов, однако, остался при должности и до настоящего времени, когда Партия Регионов находится в оппозиции, а все почему?! Все очень просто, В.Бусарев работает на свой карман, а не для бюджета Украины, «кормит» вышестоящее руководство ГНА Украины и остается «своим» при любой власти в стране. Перейду к конкретике, подтверждающей все выше изложенное.
Существует такое понятие «налоговая яма», это предприятие, которое создает затратную часть предприятий-контрагентов посредством предоставления им налогового кредита. Проще говоря, помогает предприятиям контрагентам завышать свои затраты, тем самым минимизируя уплату налогов в бюджет, а иногда при миллионных оборотах предприятий сводит уплату налогов в бюджет к нулю. Как Вы понимаете, деятельность таких предприятий должна быть незамедлительно пресечена налоговой службой, но, под непосредственным контролем В.Бусарева на территории АР Крым были созданы и помогали скрывать налоги предприятиям Крыма и некоторых регионов Украины следующие «налоговые ямы»:
ЧП «Зовик» (код 24504001);
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ЧП «БУД-Т.И.С.» (код 36165394);
ЧП «ТИС» (код 36165064);
ООО «Т.И.С.-строй» (код 36165038);
ЧП «Тисстрой» (код 36165148);
ЧП «Крымтисстрой» (код 36165174);
ООО «Южсаппорт» (код 36275069);
ООО «Латем плюс» (код 36275121);
ЧП «Крым строй поставка» (код 36478440)
ООО «Консалавто» (код 36478990);
ЧП «Сервис-Крым-Сбыт» (код 36583473);
ЧП «Крым-Сервис-Сбыт» (код 36583447);
ЧП «Сбыт-Крым-Сервис» (код 36583384).
Почему то, при якобы тотальном контроле со стороны налоговой, указанные выше субъекты без проведения проверок перестают работать, а на их месте создаются в один день от трех до пяти подобных предприятий, при чем регистрируются в один день, на одних и тех же лиц, также в один день выдается свидетельство плательщика НДС, при отсутствии расчетных счетов в банках.
Все вышеуказанные предприятия «помогли» своим контрагентам скрыть от налогообложения сотни миллионов гривен, а это бюджетные деньги страны. Соответственно, за «спасибо», т.е. бесплатно, указанные предприятия не существовали бы. Поэтому предприимчивый В.Бусарев обложил данную деятельность «налогом в свой карман», а именно, ставка этого «налога» составила 0,8% от валового оборота деятельности каждого из указанных предприятий, а это в итоге миллионы гривен. Но, как Вы понимаете, без поддержки сверху, такая «деятельность» не существовала бы. Поэтому В.Бусарев должен отдавать некоторую часть денег заместителю ГНА Украины В.Кайзерману, который взамен, за это поддерживает В.Бусарева и ежемесячно либо снижает планы поступления налоговой Крыма в бюджет, либо при угрозе его невыполнения корректирует в сторону уменьшения.
На указанном примере работы В.Бусарева, становится понятно, каким образом налоговики становятся миллионерами.
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