I don't feel like writing the second Epic Night at the moment, however, I figure I should probably update, so I'm going to post random snippets of conversation that happened during the summer the Epic Nights took place. They will be mostly derived from second-hand conversations, but they will keep their punch, I promise.
Case #1: Once, I was waiting for Golden_God to show up for a long time while I was in a room with several other retards. If I recall correctly, we had stumbled upon these retards before, and thus I approached them by using a different alias, Randomdude01. I had baited them into being friendly with me, though at a price: I was dying. These people were fucking retarded. I held back every comment and replaced it with innoucuous lols, yeahs, and omgs.
Understandably, I scrubbed myself like a rape victim afterwards.
At any rate, Golden_God made it after a while, and I just had to sit back and watch the show. After being insulted for a while, they privatized the room, which made my role all the more important: I had to keep inviting him back to keep up the good times.
I should probably break down the psyches of our targets now.
The first target was XemoxloveX. Our first encounter with her (I think) was when we called her fat. I wish I could expand, but it's not going to be possible without ruining how perfect the first Epic Night was. And, since it is not the crux of this case, I can let the fat jokes rest. However, given the context of our insults, this was a precious little gem (keep in mind that she doesn't know I called her fat earlier):
xemoxlovex will brb... shes hungry
The other one was KeyJenCool, the kind of douche that says something that nobody thinks is funny and then laughs at his own joke. I hate those kind of people. The kind that punctuate every bit of repartee with lol or lmao.
KeyJenCool: lmao
KeyJenCool: i crack myself up
There's going to be cracking alright.
The worst part was when, in the middle of being insulted, KJC came up with the worst fucking insult ever.
KeyJenCool: ur brain is skinny
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?
Tell me now. What the fuck does it mean to have a skinny brain? The worst part was that, being the douchebag this guy is, he kept praising himself for letting this abortion of a phrase escape into the airwaves. That's aural pollution, you fucking jerk.
Remember how I said I had to keep inviting Golden_God back? They still had not realized it was me (dumbasses). After "skinny brain," we decided to make our exit; partly because they weren't fun anymore, and partly because holy shit, they are fucking stupid.
We decided to let them in on the joke.
Randomdude01: Wow guys. You really are all pathetic. So stupid in fact, I've been inviting him this entire time. Way to go, morons. P.S. Emo is fat. Seriously.
Randomdude01: Also, KayJenCool, quit laughing at the most retarded shit. Skinny brain? What, did you have a lobotomy? Fucking incredible.
KeyJenCool: ...
xemoxlovex: what the crap!?
Then I got kicked.
Case #2: The setting is a random room.
Golden_God: Quit this circlejerk right now.
DumbBitch: WTF U MAKE NO SENSE
Golden_God: Sigh, this room is just a bunch of kids saying "lol no u"
DumbBitch: what? lol no u?
*long pause*
DumbBitch: what does that mean?
Golden_God: It means you are ignorant.
DumbBitch: I dont have ignorange.
I don't know whether I prefer to think of it as the retarded cousin of the orange or as a technical term to describe the range of stupidity someone possesses. Drop me a line, and tell me whether we should add it to the lexicon.
Case #3: I went into a room as Pokeman. It was for a brief period of time, so when I left, I left the inhabitants with this:
Pokeman: Sorry, kids, I have to jet.
Pokeman: But don't worry. To summon me, all you have to do is recite the Pokerap.
Pokeman left the game.
Case #4: This is verbatim.
PunksxPain: yeha...
NeoAegis: Seriously, learn to say something constructive or just shut up.
emo.person: i belive ur fucking stupid too
NeoAegis: None of this "uhhh ummmm liek lol" shit.
emo.person: that was construsatives
emo.person: how do u spell that
NeoAegis: You can't even spell.
NeoAegis: Constructive.
emo.person: contcrauctave
emo.person: wait wha
NeoAegis: ...
emo.person: constructave
PunksxPain: ok...this is akward seriously
emo.person: forget it
NeoAegis: Wow.
emo.person: shut up man
NeoAegis: With the word fucking in front of you...
NeoAegis: You can't spell it.
NeoAegis: End your life now.
emo.person: fcuking
emo.person: damn
emo.person: fuicki
emo.person: fucking
Case #5: There was a room called "lover's room." I noticed there were five people in there, so being the dick that I am...
NeoAegis: Okay, there are five people here.
NeoAegis: That means that this place either has an orgy, a threesome, or there is one very lonely dude.
Everyone laughed and had a good time. I left for half an hour, but I was still bored, so I came back. I pointed out that they still had uneven numbers, and some girl lost her shit and tried to burn me.
newbie-419: ugh ur stupid go away
Being the dick that I am...
NeoAegis: Shut the fuck up, dicklips.
I fired right back. Then a guy started defending her. It was sick; he was defending her solely on the basis that she was a girl. He even said this explicitly.
cDizzle: hey u cant talk to her like that
cDizzle: u should respect girls
NeoAegis: What? You do realize that she tried to flame me in the first place, right?
cDizzle: so? shes still a girl...
NeoAegis: You're a sexist pig, you realize?
NeoAegis: You just happen to be sexist in a manner that is positive to women.
This is the problem with feminism. The basic tenets of feminism I agree with: women are morally and legally equal to men. However, so many women expand into getting extra special rights. You want equality? Done, with pleasure. But don't expect people not to point out your dumb mistakes just because you are a woman.
Case #6: This is just something that is fun to do. When some pervert asks you "asl?" the best response is:
Girl: 17/f/uk u
I'm done for now.
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